Defining My Future

I am so excited to get back into school. I have heard it will be a challenge, which only makes me want to go more! lol I am keeping everyone updated on my progress in nursing school via Mrs. Nurse Mommy So far I have done a ton of research on all of the possible paths to a career and I think I have found the one for me. I am a little nervous given the other online forums and their comments, but I think I will do great.

In the course of planning my degree I have been having some mixed feelings. For some reason I feel like going back to school for two years is somehow going to discount my children's lives. I know they only have a short time before they go to school and I want to be "there" for every minute of it. I don't want to miss anything that I don't have to. I always thought I would go on to something new once my youngest (likely not even born at this point) goes off to school. However, that could be as long as nine years from now! That just doesn't seem like a good idea. I don't like the idea of starting a school career at 33 and finally entering the field at 40. I know people do it everyday, and I am not knocking them, I just really don't want to go that path.

I feel like if I wait to start school then I will be so far behind the other nurses in my field that I will never be looked at for promotion or leadership. I don't want to be the brand new nurse at 40. So I am going to go back now, fear or not, because I know that I need this for me. I still will be there for my kids, I am not going to be putting them in daycare. Chase and I will be going to school at the same time so we will be alternating school schedules in order to cover childcare. Where we can't keep the little ones, I am confident that our family will fill in.

With this plan I will be done with school right as I turn thirty. That leaves me ten years of experience on the other plan. I will be done by the time my oldest is 11 and my youngest will very likely be 2 or 3 years old. I will be able to spend time with the kids while I am in school, I will still be able to drive them to and from school and I may even be able to fit a job in there. I hope that my plan is not too unrealistic. I have heard it will be hard, but if anyone can do it then I can. I have my eyes set on getting through my masters and becoming a midwife while maintaining a stellar relationship with my kids and husband.

*****************Here is to finishing college as a mom and wife! ******************

TGIF

A pretty typical day here in the Long house. I have the kids all day (no preschool) on Fridays so it can get a little crazy. Chase's first week of school went off without a hitch. He only has one homework assignment so the weekend should be pretty relaxing. I had a doctors appt when he got back from school today. I know I mentioned in earlier posts about my PCOS. So I had a little medical issue last week and had to go into the doc today to make sure everything was ok. I am happy to report that I am actually much more "normal" than I was when I started TTC with Kaylee. That is half the battle! Now as long as school goes well and my work stays consistent, we will be looking forward to baby #3 : )

In the mean time I did continue on my journey towards starting school. The cc in my area requires a mandatory intro to nursing info session so I stopped by over there. I was an hour late and the class had already ended but luckily the teacher was still there! She is actually the coordinator of the entire GCC nursing program, the person who certifies for the board and most importantly the one who picks the CEP program candidates. I actually got to pick her brain about all of my nursing program questions for 30 minutes or so. How lucky that I had her all to myself!

I have been kinda torn over the different nursing programs to go to. I know I want to go back to school but I have a commitment to Chase to let him get through his degree first. As it looks now I would probably start my degree and be going to school at the same time as him for two years. It is a little stressful to think about that because I am  the sole bread winner of the house right now. Hopefully I can figure out a path that benefits us most. I just don't see myself being able go full time to nursing school in the CEP program and working full time. I am confident that I will find the answer though. If someone else can do it then I am sure I can.

On a different note, Tyson started using phonics! His time in preschool has helped him tremendously in this area. He has started copying words I say and telling me what they start with. Like this morning when I said, "Dog" he said "duh duh Dog. That starts with D!" It is so exciting. We are right around the corner from reading! Yay!

Kaylee has adopted a new universal word. For a while everything was mama, then everything became horse. Now everything she sees that she doesn't know the name of she calls Nala (my sister's dog) It is so cute because she actually thinks she is talking like me so she will say "Nala nala nala nala. Nala Nala." It is really quite funny to see :)

Success!!

I am happy to say that I just took the math placement exam and I am ready to enroll in my first math class in SIX years. It doesn't seem like that long since I graduated but it kinda crept up on me. It is funny because when I turned 18 I was so insistent on finding reasons why I appeared older than I am. I am not sure at what point I started trying to justify the time passing and convince people I am not as old as I seem. It really doesn't seem that long when your living it, but try to convince a teenager that 23(1 month and two days from 24) is not old. I don't know where the time has gone. I am wondering what I have done with that approx. 2190 days. I definitely don't feel like I have been doing anything for very long. Of course, I am a mom and that makes each day seem like 1/2 a day. I did go to school for a while, but mostly I am just taking care of my family and being "alive". It kinda seems like I should have accomplished more.

I remember looking out from graduation and being asked what I was hoping to be doing in 5 years. This is not what I thought. I am happy with some of the changes, marriage, kids, a house. These things make me happy and are far better than the plans I had in mind six years ago. I have definitely changed quite a bit in six years, I think for the better as well.

I hope that these plans for nursing school and midwifery lead me down a path of fulfillment from my career as well as preserving the presence I have in my family as a mom and wife. I am looking forward to my math class with both fear and resolve. I may be older than 90% of my class, but I have better reasons for being there and more determination than anyone :) Today I will sign up for the first semester in a long journey to career fulfillment! Yay for reaching for my dreams and becoming my personal best!

Really America? Really?

http://news.yahoo.com/karzai-condemns-video-urination-corpses-120758800.html

I saw this on the news this morning. Really? I think this is one of the most stupid things I have ever seen. These guys must really be numb from combat if they can even stand to be near the corpses, let alone pee on them. What kind of creeps are we sending over there? I can't imagine this happening anywhere, especially with an American Marine.

There is seriously something wrong over there. There is a major lack of support coming from over here. Some sort of mental preparation or counselling needs to be done for these guys. You have to really be crazy to pee on someone then post it online. Did they not think they would be representing the US in this video? I just can't believe that these guys were like this before they went over there.

Not to mention how many of these soldiers are coming back to America only to be alcoholic rage filled citizens. I cannot think of a single one of my friends who had their husband go to war that didn't get beat or abused by him when he got back. I am not saying there is anything wrong with soldiers I am just saying our soldiers are coming back with more mental baggage then they can handle and they are medicating with drugs and alcohol. We need a better solution.

Lets be honest, I would not pee on anyone, but I would definitely have A LOT of anger towards a person that I knew had helped kill my fellow soldiers. I would have anger at someone that joined a group who's purpose is to "bring down the USA" . I would have anger at someone who was trying to start a "gang" to kill Americans and make this world dangerous for Americans. But I would not take out my anger by peeing. I mean, seriously guys, you already clearly killed the man, why does it have to go further? This didn't punish the men any more for what they did, it just made the USA look like a bunch of arrogant idiots. The best you can think of is to pee on the guy? Really? Just Ridiculous.

Now I have to worry about how the world is going to react to these guys being idiots. At least here in the country, I don't have any consequences for idiots in society. This makes the world dangerous for me and my family. I don't appreciate the fact that world travel with my children is becoming so far out of reach because of the hate and discrimination that Americans receive in other countries. Come on America, pull it together. An eye for and eye never worked. Try to use those sophisticated brains and that advanced technology to make a difference in the world. Not to pee on dead people. I didn't pay my taxes for that.

Teacup Candles

A lot of the blogs that I read from other women/moms/wives like me have lots of crafts and interesting hobbies on them. I have always liked these kinds of things but I hadn't tried many new crafts. So I decided to try and make up one of my own.

I am excited to announce that I have officially done something crafty! I made a homemade teacup candle :) I melted the wax, dyed it and even made it a nice apple pie scent. It was actually fairly easy and I had fun doing it. I am going to be selling these at craft fairs and online. I have a collection of unique teacups that I am going to transform into candles. This is one craft that would be good for any beginner. The supplies for the candle are all at Michael's and you can get started in really any holder you would like. I will keep you posted on my sales to see if this is a good avenue of income too :)

If anyone is interested in buying one, let me know and I will show you the other designs too!

Saturday, in the park, I think it was the fourth of July :)

I love Saturday. I know, everyone loves Saturday except people who work on Saturday. But I love Saturday because every Saturday I go to my Grandma's house. I cook breakfast with her and we eat. Just my Grandma, my husband, the kids and I. I am almost always late to Grandmas. I shoot for 8 am and get there at 10. I thought about shooting for 10 but I might end up there for lunch if I do. I am always late. I like to say it is because I have kids but I think I have been late most of my life. I especially remember being late for school a lot in high school. I am rarely late to work though. The consequences are too high to not be on time.

Anyways, I always eat the best foods at my Grandma's house. She is an amazing cook and she even makes me quiche. Quiche is by far my favorite dish in the whole world. It is fairly easy to make but for some reason I never make it. I tend to stick to frozen waffles, bagels, cheerios, etc. Anything that can quickly be made for 10 people :) It is a well known fact that Grandma's can cook better than anyone else. I swear I can make the same omelet with the same ingredients and they will like my Grandma's omelet better! I don't mind though, it is nice to have family that enjoys being around my kids. My world revolves around them and anyone who loves them tends to be on the top of my list of people I like.

I also like Saturdays because I get to be creative and plan outings and activities for my family. For three years Chase worked every single Saturday as a mechanic. I never had a chance to plan anything interesting at all. Now that he is home going to school I have a tendency to over plan the weekend. Lately I have been trying to spend one of the weekend days getting chores/errands done and the other just spending time with the family. I also try to fit in all of those birthdays. Chase's family is huge. Between them, my family and daycare kids seems like there is always at least one birthday going on each week.

I love to spend time with my husband and kids. They never get boring to me. Kaylee is such a ham when we are out. I can't go anywhere without people coming up to us to talk about our kids. With blond hair and blue eyes they always catch peoples attention. Add to that the fact that they make little faces and smile at everyone, and they can have an entire restaurant wrapped around their fingers. Last night we took the kids on a just us outing. We went to Denny's for hot chocolate : ) Not my best idea seeing as it was right before bed time, but we enjoyed it anyways. While we were there Kaylee had an entire table of Hispanic women smiling at her and speaking Spanish to her. Much to her delight of course. Every time they would say something she would respond with her own little gibberish! lol She was quite a ham. Then Tyson was telling the server all about being "a little bit cowboy" a recent development in his persona. He was a cowboy for several months but now has decided he is only a little bit of a cowboy, not completely a cowboy anymore. He was so cute. All the while he is speaking his version of Spanish to the women that are cooing at Kaylee. This consists of him saying "Busco Siete Busco Siete" which thankfully the women thought was adorable too. I don't know where he gets that from, but it cracks me up anyways.

After saying goodbye to the ladies in some broken communication, we headed over to the counter to pay. At the counter there was a guy who looked to be about 70. He too was smitten with the kids and their little smiles. Right before he left he looked at Kaylee and said, "You are what the world is all about" It was such a great feeling to have everyone so friendly to our family.

Today, we went to Grandma's as usual but it will be a chores and errands day. I have a lot to get done today. Santa bought our family bikes and one of those little carriages for the kids, so tomorrow morning we will be going on our first ever family bike ride. Then a nice lunch then church. Kinda bummed that our ward starts at 1pm this year. That is nap time for the kids so I am going to have to convince them to nap at 1130. I doubt it is going to work, but we will figure it out. My sister's ward is at 9am and if I have to I will visit with her for a while :) Happy Saturday everyone!

What kind of things do you do with your Saturdays?
Do you have any ideas for fun outings?
What kinds of weekend traditions do you have with your family?

When I grow up 2

I seem to always be on some sort of quest to become the best most productive me. I am not sure what my potential holds and I have yet to define the roles I want to pursue in my future. So far all I know is that I want to be a wife and a mother. On top of that the possibilities are endless!

I have jumped from career path to career path in my mind ever since I graduated high school. First I wanted to be an aerospace engineer(I love physics.) Second I pursued a degree as a CPA good money and math comes easy for me. Third I looked into Early Childhood Education (preschool teacher) because I loved doing crafts with my son and the coursework was a piece of cake.  Then came the daycare facility because I wanted to be an "entrepreneur" and run my own business and I loved my daycare job. Now I am back home and creating my next big dream! As you can see, I do not make up my mind for very long. I mean, how am I supposed to know what to go to college for? I am 23 and I have to pick a four year course of study that will result in a lifelong career and I can't even make up my mind on what color eyeshadow I want to wear. All that rides on completing the right course has often resulted in me making the wrong choices.

Now I sat down and created a list of my goals for a career. Here is my wish list for a future job :

• Evenings off to cook dinner with my family
• Freedom to take my kids to and from school at the normal school hours (8:00-3:00)
• I need a variety of experiences, I get bored with the same people day in day out
• I want a flexible schedule so I can see every game/recital/concert my kids are in
• I want to make enough money to support my family on my own
• It must be a job that I contribute to society in some way
• I need to feel passionate about whatever I am doing
• I have to feel safe in my work environment (no door to door sales or going to stranger's homes)
• I don't want to have to pile up student loans to get a degree that is competitive in the field
• I cannot work any more than 40 hours in a regular week (combined at home and in office work)
• I need a job that allows me nights off for date night, family night, birthdays, etc.
• The job must allow me to have vacation and holiday time off.

It is a pretty tall order for any one profession. Most jobs have most of the criteria but not all. I do believe I have found a plan that works for me, my kids and my husband.

I am going to go back to school to be a midwife. I have always been interested in natural birthing techniques and doula work. I gave birth to both of my kids naturally without pain medication. I also am very interested in the natural process of child birth and supporting mothers through their pregnancy and birthing journey. I also loved nursing my kids, so I will be getting certified as a lactation consultant too :) I am hoping to be done with my schooling in 6 years. At that point I will have a bachelors in nursing and I will be a certified nurse midwife and lactation consultant. In the mean time I am going to enter the field as a doula (slowly) I have to meet new doulas and start networking.

I really hope that I am able to keep focused and complete my degree. It is a great path because if I can at least finish the associates in nursing then I have a job to fall back on :)

If you are interested in following my progress and the journey to midwifery you can follow me at my other blog Mrs. Nurse Mommy It will chronicle my progress and the experience from the point of view of a wife and mother.

Wish me luck and send your prayers, I am going to sign up for my first classes next week!

How to Get a Marriage License

So I know I talk a lot about the joys and struggles of marriage. So I thought I would write a little on one of the key steps to getting married. . . getting a marriage license.

Whenever you hear people(men) saying, "I don't know what the big deal is, it's just a piece of paper." This is the piece of paper they are talking about :)

I will walk you through the steps for people here in Phoenix and give a few links to other helpful resources.

First I want to mention how important it is to go to marriage counselling BEFORE you get married. This is normally called pre-marital counselling and it will make all the difference in your marriage. You will be able to sit down and work out any problems you are already experiencing and learns some tips and tools to help you down the road. Much of the stuff I learned in my premarital counselling has helped me understand my husband better and be a better wife. If you are interested in pre-marital counselling it would be worth your time to go to your priest and see if they offer any classes. If not or if you do not attend a church regularly, there are several resources online through google.

Here are the steps to getting a marriage license:
1. Pick a Location.
There are several locations to get a marriage license around the valley. You will be getting the license through the Clerk of Superior Court's office. Here are several locations listed by the office.

2. Pick a Payment Method.
The fee for a marriage license is $72.00 and it is payable by cash, check, money order, and in some offices credit cards. Have this ready when you go to fill out the forms.


3. Go to the office and obtain a license!
This step is important! lol You AND your spouse to be must go in to the office together. There are signs posted and a help desk to guide you to the right teller. There will be some minimal paperwork to be signed and you will be on your way! If I remember correctly, this step only took about 10 minutes. There was no wait and not a whole lot to it.

IMPORTANT POINTS:

• Strangely, a divorce decree or a blood test are not required. However if you are from another state you will want to check with their policies.
• You will also need to bring a government issued ID so that you can prove you are old enough and a citizen.
• Both parties must be there to get the marriage license.
• You can get married the same day you get the license if you have someone of authority willing to do the job. Also, the marriage license only lasts one year, so if you are planning on a long engagement you might want to wait till you are closer to your chosen date. 
• You must be 18 years old. If you are 16 or 17 years old you must have one of these filled out and notarized by your parents. If you are 15 or younger then you will need to get a court order.
• There are multiple types of marriage license. In Arizona you can get a "covenant marriage license". This type of license requires premarital counselling and more paper work. The end result is more restrictions on getting a divorce. There is more information here and here. Also here.

When I Grow Up

I am often amused when I run into another "daycare lady". For me, I am always trying to work my profession into my conversations. I can bring just about any topic back to kids and child care. It is the same for many "daycare ladies" so it usually comes out within just a couple minutes of meeting a fellow child care provider.

After the other provider and I figure out that we are each a "daycare lady" there ensues a type of conversation that I believe every "daycare lady" wants to have. A conversation about the details and struggles of daily life in child care. 

"How long have you been in childcare?" "How many kids do you have?" "What hours do you work?"
"Are you going to do it forever?" "Are your kids good?"

It is almost like you are talking with a fellow inmate at a prison you have just been transferred too. They might as well be asking "How many years have you been in prison?" "How many guards are on your block?" "What is the schedule like?" "How long is your sentence?" "Are the guards nice here?"

You will often hear people in my profession talk about when they will "get out" of childcare like the job was some sort of trap that they stumbled upon. Then the exchanging of tips is even more interesting. Tips for getting kids to nap, eat, play nicely, stop biting, etc. etc. etc. Everyone has a "trick of the trade" to get you through your day.

At first it felt like I had been inducted into some secret society where the "daycare lady" wasn't afraid to tell me the difficulties of her job. She didn't hesitate to say a child was a whiner or a bully. In society the "daycare lady" cannot mention her struggles. We are supposed to be enjoying every minute of this. Right, like anyone ever "enjoyed" changing a diaper, wiping up puke or cleaning up drool.

I have to admit that I am always a sore thumb in these conversations. I run a tight ship in my house and my daycare kids are generally well behaved. Most days they do not make ungodly messes or fight constantly. Although we have had our share of both. My day usually goes smoothly and even when it doesn't I don't really mind as much as most people. I just go with the flow of the kids and get through to when the clock hits 5:30. I probably look like a snooty brat when I don't come up with daycare gossip to share about my kids.

Most days if I honestly ask myself if I could do this forever, I know I could. It wouldn't always be easier than a "normal" job but I would take this over most other options. I get to eat breakfast at home, wear whatever I want, cook whatever I want, do dishes/laundry/clean the house while I'm working and I even get the occasional nap right down the middle of my day. Who wouldn't want that right?

I don't WANT to always be a "daycare lady" though. I want a flexible job in which I can make my own schedule, never be bored, get a break during the day, drive my kids to and from school, be home to cook dinner, have time to play with my kids, have time to go on dates with my husband and make enough money to support my family. It is a tall order but I think I found my answer. I will be writing more on my plans for the future in tomorrow's blog. In the mean time I will try to enjoy my time with the kids and the occasional "prison talk" with my fellow providers :)

5 ways To Be A Better Spouse

I have not been married for 50 years really I haven't even been married for 15 years but I do have a happy marriage :) I am married to my high school sweetheart and we have a commitment to not only make our marriage "work" but also to enjoy every step along the way. 

I know that there are so many roles to being a woman in the family. Our role as a mother alone can be stress overload. Add to that the stress of work, family, church, possibly going back to school and you are bound to neglect one of them. 

Often the marriage is the first one on the list of responsibilities to be neglected. The benefits of a healthy marriage often go unseen and unappreciated. People know they can do anything in life without being married so they allow their commitment to slide as they add more irons to the fire. You don't NEED to be married to own a home, be a mother/father/complete a college degree. This thought process is true, however I can testify that marriage makes each step much more enjoyable.

Many of my friends have gone through terrible divorces. They have torn apart their families and even the couples I thought had the best chance chose to part ways. I am always surprised at the reasons that these couples give for going through the big D. I am often privy to both sides of the story and I found that by following a few simple rules most of the marriages would have stayed intact.

These are the guidelines I try to follow in order to be a better wife. They go for husbands too though:)

1. Say Thank You.
This one can be especially hard sometimes. Often times you may feel like the things you have done to contribute to the family far outweigh the ones your spouse has done. This is because you cannot feel your spouses feelings and in a marriage most people neglect to tell their spouse just how much they are appreciated. It is important to remember to say thank you for even the smallest thing. Your spouse will feel good because they are making you happier and they may even strive to do more good deeds. Imagine if instead of reaming your spouse about how they didn't take out the garbage, you said thank you for how they helped watch the kids while you cooked breakfast. I'm sure the latter option would result in a happier more productive spouse.

2. Remind yourself daily of the times you enjoyed with your spouse. Sometimes in a hectic life it is very easy to forget what  you fell in love for. Sometimes a lack of communication leaves both people feeling unsatisfied and angry. I make a point of remembering at least one cute/happy/romantic memory between me and my spouse. I think of the times we have been together that I wouldn't want to live without. This helps me to remember how much I love my spouse. It also helps me to refocus on my commitment because I don't want to miss out on more of those precious memories.

3. Take care of yourself. It is strange how single people continue to get up each morning and spend enormous amounts of time getting ready so they can "look good" to complete strangers. Often, a married person will forgo getting ready for the day at all if they can. Why do people feel like it is so important to make a good impression on their spouse when they first meet but they do not feel the need to keep up with their personal hygiene? I make a point of evaluating myself each morning. I check to make sure I am presenting myself as an attractive spouse to be with. This doesn't have to mean a bunch of makeup or the most trendy clothes. I try to look clean, smell good and maintain my weight in a reasonable range. If my spouse wanted an overweight stinky woman wearing yesterdays sweat pants then he wouldn't have married me to begin with. 

4. Tell your spouse what you want. This is one of the most important things to remember every single day of your marriage. You cannot assume that your spouse knows what you want. Each person has their own agenda and their own desires from their marriage. If you come to the table expecting a magician husband that is going to magically read your mind then you are delirious. The first step to communicating your needs/wants is to ask yourself what is your desire and how do you expect your spouse to contribute to making that dream a reality. Now, before you go spouting off to your spouse about how they need to work two jobs because your dream is to be a stay at home parent, remind yourself that not all of your expectations are reasonable or fair. How would you feel if your spouse came to you and asked for the same contributions from you? How do your desires affect your spouse's ability to reach their goals? If you are being respectful of each other's desires then you can achieve a fulfilling marriage and life. Two working together is better than two working apart!

5. Be faithful with your mind, heart and body. It is easy to look a little longer at someone who is physically attractive. It is easy to imagine all of the things you wouldn't have to deal with if you were not married. It is easy to imagine being in the throws of a budding romance again. However, the minute you let these thoughts settle in your mind you are writing a death sentence for your marriage. I know that it is natural to be attracted to romance, excitement and passion. If you want your marriage to be successful then you need to work hard to maintain those elements in your relationship. Imagining a relationship with someone other than your spouse is unrealistic and leads to dissatisfaction in your marriage. Every relationship has difficulties and that stranger will present theirs if you were to with them too. So if you find yourself thinking of someone else or with the opportunity to engage physically with someone else, remind yourself of the moments you pondered while getting ready that morning. The moments that you wouldn't want to live without. Just thinking of your spouse and the cherished times with them will give you strength and resolve to stay faithful.


I know not all marriages will work. In fact half of them will not work at all. Sometimes people make a mistake in who they marry and they have no choice but divorce. I know that a marriage cannot work if both partners aren't committed. These steps cannot help you if your spouse is not committed too. However, if both people are striving for success then these steps will help guide you to a more satisfying relationship everyday of your marriage.

I am interested in knowing what tips you have for success?
What do you do when faced with temptation?
How do you nurture your marriage/relationship?
You can leave me a message in the comments or email me at raisingbabycakes@gmail.com