Taking Time for Mom

Each month I watch my daycare kids for one Saturday night. It is a date night so that the "daycare parents" can get away from their kids for five hours once a month. A lot of people ask me why I would do this. Mostly I do it for the kids and I will explain why. I found that parents that took the time to go out with out the baby were often happier parents. These happier parents resulted in happier kids which makes my job easier.

Society says that once you have children you should watch them every waking moment of the day. The only acceptable time you can leave them is if you are going to work. Otherwise as a parent we are made to feel like we are abandoning our "responsibilities" if we choose to leave the kids with a sitter. Parents are allowed the occasional adult outing, but anything more than once every couple months is looked at as irresponsible.

Often times a parent will appear to not like their kids if they try to go out alone for something that isn't necessary. I think that this thought process is one of the furthest from the truth. In fact, I think that I am a better parent if I have time away from my kids at least once a week.

For the last two years my mother-in-law has generously offered to watch my kids once a week for my husband and I to go out on a date. At first I spent the date worrying about Tyson, and wondering if he thought I had abandoned him. But now that I have seen the changes in our family, I realize that getting away from each other makes being near each other more enjoyable.

It is not that I couldn't keep going, never getting away from my kids and always taking care of them myself. Many people live that life everyday until their children go off to college. It is certainly more affordable than going out! I just find that going out on my weekly date has helped ME to be a better mother.

When Chase and I take time to get away, I am able to have fun new experiences. In the last two years I have learned Karate with Chase, gone to several new restaurants, painted pottery, gone to concerts, went ice skating and seen some great movies. My marriage has gotten stronger because Chase and I are able to create memories of us that only him and I share. We have hobbies together and we are able to talk about all of the new places we have gone. By going out without the kids, Chase and I are able to enjoy each other's company and good conversation. We don't have to worry about what the kids need and our parenting duties. We get to just be us.

This time away helps me to relax and have time-out from the hectic fast pace of family life. I don't have to worry about what I need to do, I can just enjoy what ever activity it is that I want to do. 

I also inevitably find a time on every date where something I hear or smell or see reminds me of my babies. I miss them and I am able to look forward to seeing them again. Each time that I leave my kids I find that coming back is that much sweeter. My kids have a ton of fun at Grandma's house and I know they are safe there. It is a welcome change of scenery for them too :)

It is important to take time away to have adult conversation and experiences. Moms and Dads should not feel guilty about leaving their kids with a trusted care giver. The time away helps every family member feel refreshed and it makes time together more enjoyable.